Perspective: Agnostic

i don't believe in God anymore,

but i miss Him

and when He left, He took all my love

and now i look up at the stars and ask Heaven where She's hiding

in these moments, Heaven holds Her breath 

and waits for me to find Her in something new

Cracks

It wasn't what I expected at 2 am 
and it wasn't what I normally do, 
but now it's all I want, 
Its all I can think of. 
The lights in the city, walking the streets, the night time nostalgia. 
Walking alone was our moment.  
You said I was going too slow, 
I didnt want to catch up to letting go.
And as I looked at the ground
I noticed two cracks in the sidewalk
They crossed the pavement aimlessly until they met
In between the buildings and the road. 
It seemed like a miracle 
How they both found eachother in the same place. 
That by chance
By fate 
By forces bigger than them, they met. Knowing that they both had some rough edges 
but they still came together 
and fit, 
maybe not perfectly, but they fit
turning them into something bigger than what they were before. 
And they held on. 
Even through the coldest of nights they couldn't break apart. 
Even when others tried to "fix" and "fill" them.
Their path was still visible.
That's how beautiful the chances were.
And as I looked a little harder,
I found us.
We were walking together into the unknown, 
The stars photographed every second with their old light
Lighting up the streets with the help of cars and traffic lights. 
And I couldn't help but wish on that old light 
that maybe these cracks would guide us home, 
To our home. 
The home we found in each other.

Take Your Time

Believe in something real

Do good for the sake of good

and not for the approval 

Go become the things you love most

And cherish the novelty

because in the end

time will only remember 

how you wasted him

and love will only remember

How you used her

 God gave us these commodities

with an expiration date

 and we'll never know when that is

So

Accept the love you're given

and 

take your time.

Know Me

If you really knew me

you'd know that I like Winter more than Summer

Because there's something about being warm

when it's cold

You'd know that I really like the song

Come on Eileen

And that they didn't play it at prom

You'd know that what I think people think

And what they actually think

Are very different.

You'd know that "I'm secretly in love with Alta June"

You'd know that I like slow songs

Because the beat matches my heart better

You'd know that I think Nelson

Is just an older version of me

But more bald.

You'd know that I still ask my mom for advice on girls

You'd know that I don't know

To say how I feel

Without feeling guilty

You'd know that I've spent most of my nights

Getting ready to go somewhere

With friends who haven't invited me yet.

You'd know that I've done a lot of waiting

You'd know that I waited for three years to tell her

How I feel

You'd know that I can't sleep with socks on

You'd know that the majority of my hikes

Are spent bushwhacking 

You'd know that after high school

I probably won't have a social life

And I'm ok with that

Sort of

You'd know that I care a lot about people I don't know

And I really do care about you

Because I believe that people are good

You'd know that I didn't reach my peak

Because this is high school

I'm 18.

You'd know that ending blog posts are hard for me

And that saying goodbye 

Is something I try to avoid

But I guess it's inevitable 

So thanks

And 

Good luck to you

-Charlie

You

My mother told me
It takes time for someone to fall in love
But whenever I think that it's been a while,
It's like trying to catch a train that's already left
For who knows how long
So I've gotten used to walking
But I avoid the cracks in the sidewalk because
The straight ones look like you
And the crooked ones look like me
And somewhere along the lines of the road we met
And I kept going, but when I looked over,
You took a hard left

As I just stumbled around the corner
Wondering what I did.
My steps slowed down so did my heart
Because my heart was alone and it didn't have anything to catch up to anymore
And when I asked why
You said something poetic
And it must have been about love because I didn't understand it
See my heart just wanted the chance to say I love you
But it couldn't find the words
Because they were hidden in the holes of your flaws
And if I were to connect the freckles on your face
They would say "I Love"
And mine would only spell out
"You"

because like unfinished sentences,

we complete each other

and I can't erase that.

Ugly Things that have Changed the World

Ugly things have more to offer

Than an outward appearance.

Because

Crying is ugly
But tears from compassion have changed the world
Sweat is ugly
But the hard work of men and women has changed the world
Feet are ugly
But the steps we take toward helping others have changed the world.

Dirty fingernails are ugly
But the music they play that moves the heart has changed the world.
Scars are ugly
But the stories of courage being passed on have changed the world
Wrinkles are ugly
But the wrinkles around kind eyes and smiling lips have changed the world

These have changed the world.

And they will continue to change the world

Remember that.

Everybody falls in love with the wrong people,



                                 &


                                             that's alright.



                                                          Because someday you might get it right.



                            




                                 just remember that.