Its What You Make Of It

To be honest with you I have no idea what I am going to write within the next couple of minutes, hours, days. Its all just coming out as I type. Maybe an introduction will come of it.

Sitting in a place where my mind can feel open. Cause when I close my eyes the space is endless. I can go anywhere and do anything. Listening to certain songs can expand the seemingly endless space. It creates feelings even louder than the words and music themselves. Breath taking actually.

I enjoy the fourth of July with its colors and such, along with all the nostalgia. Its a great feeling. going out on my front porch looking at family, friends, neighbors. All together to witness something that wont last. Timeless.

We've created this concept of time, but perhaps it is meaningless because after all we are all here on this earth to experience something magnificent, but that will come on its own, so it just might be best to forget about time. The difference in moments and time is that time will always escape you. Moments leave a feeling. whether it leaves you sorry or not, its what you make of it.

I hate apologies even though I use them far too often because I care.

I care very much about people. I care that they are happy and that they can find something to be happy about. Or when they talk passionately about something they do. Caring more about other peoples lives rather than my own will most likely be my downfall, but maybe one of these days I will put my own life as a priority.

Maybe one of these days I will be someones priority. But then again people worrying about me is not my favorite.

Perhaps one of my least favorite things in the world is when I do something that creates envy in others. I fall apart. Because after all, we're all here just trying to do our best. No ones got it all.

I suppose I talk a lot about feeling when sometimes I wonder if I could care any less. But the honest truth is I don't realize what I'm saying until after its said. I don't know what I'm doing until after its done. And I really have no idea as to where I'm going until I've arrived.

At times I pause, thinking my life a movie. I wonder what the people watching must feel, whether they feel sorry for me and what not. Maybe its boring, or maybe its just one of those movies that leaves you feeling something. You can't really describe it, but you know you'll want to watch it again.

I hope its that last one.